It doesn’t matter what you believe, but you still need to come to church. Your community needs you.
I was sitting at the computer desk in our kitchen one evening when my mother said something like this to me. I was in my early teens, probably preparing for Confirmation. I was questioning my faith in the tradition of my upbringing, which wasn’t new, but was certainly coming to a head as I grew older. My parents were both patient and understanding of this struggle, but they were firm on one thing: care for our parish community.
Little did my mom know what a Unitarian Universalist thing she was teaching me back then. I’ve come a long way from being a disgruntled Catholic teen to a Unitarian Universalist seminarian, but there is a throughline here. A spirituality of service and community care has consistently shaped my religious journey. In fact, I believe this spirituality calls all of us. I want to explore this with you this morning.
When I first began considering what I would say today, I thought about approaching my spiritual biography as I often have in the past. I’ve talked, in other times and places, about the role that this community has played for me in offering up places for certain identities to grow. I have spoken many times about finding myself as both a queer person and a Pagan. And because I often frame my spiritual biography with these two specific identities I’ve cultivated, I wondered what I’ve left unsaid. I thought of another time I reflected on my spiritual biography: when I applied for seminary.
One of the essays my school requested when I applied was a piece about my “spiritual journey” and how it has led me to apply to their program. Answering that prompt gave me the space to reflect on the importance I’ve found in service in religious community. By the time I was questioning my place in Catholicism, my parents had already begun to instill the importance of community service in my brother and me. In our rural parish, there were many Sundays when my brother and I served with the priest on the altar; my mom read from the lectionary; my dad was the usher; and both my parents were Eucharistic ministers. Serving our community – where four generations of our family had worshipped – was a family affair.
By the time I left home, service as a way of orienting in religious community was well steeped in me. So when I found Unitarian Universalism in college, getting involved through service felt natural. And when I came to this congregation after college, service helped me feel at home and connected.
The more I reflected on this, the more I thought of the motto of the Benedictines, Ora Et Labora – Pray and Work. For the Benedictines, this motto reflects two core virtues of their tradition and their life together in intentional community. In a less direct way, it also harkens to the Catholic conviction that believers are not saved by faith alone, but by good works – the works of mercy – as well. It is not enough to believe in good – you have to do good as well.
Unitarian Universalism is also a faith of good works. We express that through our many commitments to social justice initiatives, all part of the enterprise of making this world a more just and loving one. We also express that in our values, which we are continuing to clarify through reimagining and revising Article II of our denomination’s bylaws. Our values – like justice and pluralism – and the principles many are familiar with – like everyone’s inherent worth and dignity – are deeply relational. They speak to actions: how we want to build relationships with one another.
In our first reading today, Jessica Dore observes that values exist in a continuum with behavior. “Defining what’s precious (what we value) is a first step, not to be mistaken for the journey itself1.” In other places, she has observed a variation of this: that what we do and move toward can indicate where our values truly lie. As Rev. Alice Blair Wesley was quoted in our second reading “Show me the patterns of your church…and I’ll show you what the people…find worthiest of their loyalty2.” So it is with us. If we claim to value the interdependent web of existence, how strong is that claim if we don’t behave as though our choices and actions affect everyone and everything around us? If we say we value pluralism and “big tent” attitudes toward philosophical & theological diversity, how strong is that claim if we want inclusion for ourselves but balk at God-Talk and worshipful language?
If we value community, shouldn’t we be engaged in it? Even valuing community requires action on our parts. Wikstrom in our second reading talks about the work we do in our communities as a way of transforming them, “infusing [them] with our spirit3.” I mentioned earlier that this tradition has been a place for me to grow as a queer, Pagan person. That growth hasn’t occurred just by this congregation’s radical welcome and acceptance. It has also grown through work. Coming in to myself as a queer person in queer community couldn’t happen on my own. Much of it has grown through connections I’ve made here through the shared LGBTQ justice. And I would not have grown as a Pagan person without the community I’ve found here. That community doesn’t just happen at rituals and picnics – it also happens at work-days cleaning up the labyrinth. I have grown as an individual through this work. I have also put my energy into fostering the queer and Pagan parts of our congregation. I have made a claim that if I want a congregation that affirms me as I am, I have to help make that happen.
What my mother said many years ago left something unsaid. While our community does need us to survive and thrive, we also need our community. The energy we put into it ensures both its growth and our own. If we want a more welcoming community, a more diverse community, a more inter-generational community – then what we’re hearing in that want is a call. We are hearing a call to build this community with our co-congregants and collaborators. We are hearing a call to vision and build with one another. As we conclude this service, I want to leave you with three questions. I hope you’ll join us in the forum to discuss them at 11:00 – but even if you don’t attend, take these with you into the coming days and weeks:
1. Jessica Dore, “Queen of Pentacles” in Tarot for Change: Using the Cards for Self-Care, Acceptance, and Growth (New York: Penguin Life, 2021), 286.
2. Erik Walker Wikstrom, Serving With Grace: Lay Leadership as a Spiritual Practice (Boston, MA: Skinner House Books, 2010), 3.
3. Ibid.